Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Breaking news today- FACT: Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists


[ This is still funny: From Jan 09 in Austin: Pranksters in Austin, Texas, hacked computerized road signs to warn drivers of an unusual hazard on Monday. The signs appeared on Lamar Boulevard, a major city thoroughfare.]

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By Richard Alleyne
Wednesday August 19 2009

Civilisation would most likely be finished in the event of a zombie outbreak, claim Canadian mathematicians who have calculated the possible devastation caused by an attack by the fictional monsters.

Using models developed to calculate the effects of more plausible pandemics, the team from the University of Ottowa have discovered that unless man struck back quickly and aggressively then they would be doomed.

The scientific paper, which is published in a book 'Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress', looks at an attack by the undead creatures, who infect the living with a bite.
In their study, titled 'When Zombies Attack!', the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.
They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

“A zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly,” they write in the book “While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies, the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often. “As seen in the movies, it is imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly, or else we are all in a great deal of trouble.”
Joe Imad, the study's co-author, said: “If you look at it in a more realistic way, zombies are about the same as any other major infectious disease, they get out and we try to eliminate them.
“Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read.”

© Telegraph.co.uk
- Richard Alleyne

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